April 22, 2020

I've Got to Win

The first part of the poem describes an aspect of physical reality that we do not wish to acknowledge. The second part, of equal length, describes its non-physical counterpart that's just as difficult to accept. We keep them at a distance because they make us uncomfortable. Yet, if we consider these aspects without judgement and bias and are able to incorporate them into our perspective, they will set us free and on a path to a new future. Over 2500 words.
_________________

I've Got to Win


On the screen
off the screen
there’s an image
I cultivate.
Always in control
knowing what to say.
Let’s keep it that way.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

How do I innovate.
Push more sales
before this date.
Grab eyeballs.
Think out of the box.
Make it big.
Create a storm.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

I know their president.
I shook his hand.
Strike a deal
they can't find fault.
Hush hush
be discreet.
If you get caught
I don't exist.
Should someone die
deny, deny.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

Take over this.
Take over that.
Find a market
that no one's got.
Should it crash
get the suckers to
print currency
or legislate.
I don't care
be not late
too much at stake.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

'Is it fair'
Of course not.
Do you live in
a fool's paradise?
It's a war out there.
Do you know
what the other did?
Shut your hole
you’re expendable.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

Update CV, bcc all.
The highest bidder
gets me to slave.
A Fortune 500?
I'll sell my soul.
It's good money
I don't mind.
All they ask
is to haul stones.
And when I'm out
of the puppet's hand
I get to be
king for a day
or until lasts
the holiday.
In the hotel
at the movies
or hip cafe
they make me feel
I own the place.
They hardly care
if I’m in debt
up to my neck.
That’s okay.
It only means
I’m a bonded slave
for rest of my days.

Don't despair.
I don't think this way.
Coz in my pack
there’s an app for that.
Brilliant stuff
it doesn’t give me
a moment to think
to reflect on
what I truly want.
Ex superman
now screen slave
a bio robot.
That’s okay.
A few more years
I'll be king for real
and have under me
my very own slaves.
Then I will
only slave
for a king
who's bigger still.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

Wisdom teachings?
What’s that?
Is it on Netflix?
Oh you mean that.
That’s for grandpa folks.
Life is short.
Who cares if I've got
to come back here
and sit in the grade
I skipped this time
all over again.
I got to go.
Life is short.
and I don't have
no attention span.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

Screen after screen
flicking or clicking
I sit hunched
with rapt attention
seeking the
elusive one.
It must be here
just one more sec.
I'm certain
it can't be far.
Eternal salvation
a lottery win.
Let me search
some more.
The jokes are funny
wisdom refined.
Give me a minute
let me find
the perfect bargain
cricket score.
Let me check
a final time
how many likes
did I elicit
over the last
millisecond.

Alexa,
I invite you home.
Remind me tomorrow
to implant a chip
under my skin.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

I'm the intelligentsia
I find fault everywhere
and what's more
I've got a cure.
I love to argue
and pat my back.
If proven wrong
I won't admit.
Looking within
I don't do well.
Let me tell you my friend
what I love the utmost
are battles on TV screen
every 9PM I’ll outwit them.
Numbers, logic are my friend.
Emotion, empathy
not my vocabulary.
My twitter feed
my calling card.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

As a man of science
I’m after mystery.
I can find anything
as long as
I abide by
existing theories.
Something outside
that doesn’t get me
a research paper
is better ignored.
Should I challenge
this sacred convention
I will be ostracized
labelled a crank
even if
I have
a Nobel rank.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

In Hollywood
or card game
in the boardroom
on the shop floor
retailer or realtor
presentation
or expansion
in Wimbledon
or Olympics
how can he
be ahead of me.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

What is it that
I’m fighting for.
What is it that
I want more.
Could it be
the other side
an aspect of me?
That must mean
in consciousness
we are one
and separation
an illusion.
No, no, no.
That’s just fantasy.
I’ve got to win.
I’ve got to win.

Look at them.
Have they no shame.
An outrage it is
the greatest one.
Did you see
what I wrote?
Expose them splendid
I would.
After all
the pen is mightier
than the sword.
Bring out the pickets
a few signatures more
we’ll raise a furore.
The sky is falling
This can't go on.

Just don’t tell anyone
it's not the first time
sky has fallen on me.
I'm attracted
like a moth
to fires everywhere.
Coz in my belly
it's a fire I've got.
As a child
I had a difficult time.
I carry around
a wound unhealed.
It hurts me still
and fuels the outrage
elsewhere I feel.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

Oh my dear
you've picked
a difficult adversary.
In matters of spirit
I'm authority.
A thousand videos
on my channel
hail my supremacy.
In all these years
I've never been asked
a question that
I answer cannot.
What's this you say?
God is bigger
than my Guru told me?
That's just blasphemy.
Did you know
my Guru divine
sold a billion
Autobiography.
And who are you?
Let's leave it at that
coz you got me trapped
in a question that
I answer cannot.
It matters not
as no one knows
what transpired
between you and me.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

I know this man
he’s a little weird
says if you talk to plants
they do magic for you
and it’s hard to believe
but dreams come true.
He left the city
to live on a farm.
Have you ever
thought of that?
Farming?
Ha ha ha.
That’s not for me.
I love nature
but I’m happy here
in my comfort zone.
I’ve got this house
and some property.
It’s the city for me.
My chosen abode.
I seek peace
in a race track.
I’ve got to win.
I’ve got to win.

Look, I won!
I have arrived.
On Everest I stand.
The highest ground.
All alone.
See my medals.
Notice the shine.
Wait, it’s peeling off.
Just a paint?
It was pure
I was told
silver and gold.
And why don’t I
hear any accolades?
Envious eyes
I find everywhere.
Why do I feel
empty within?
I strived for this?
All my life
I gave it all.
When I'm here
the ultimate prize
does not cut it.

What was that?
Did I just slack?
There are tougher climbs
further still.
Let me get back
on the hamster wheel.
I've got to win.
I've got to win.

I'm humanity.
In this race
I've got to win.
That's all I know.
Separated at birth
from my father
I've always run
like Forest Gump.
I don't know why.
Sometimes I think
it’s a survival struggle
sometimes I run
for a bigger status.
Whatever it is
I've got to win.
That's all I know.

Sometimes though
I have my doubts
a fleeting feeling
little voice inside.
It is meaning
I truly seek.
I brush it away
not thinking through
distractions help
keep me running away.
I've got to win.
That's all I know.

Oh my god
It's a road block
what do I do?
I can't stand still.
A monster they say
is out on the way.
They’re asking me
to keep away.

Trapped at home
my chosen abode
removed from nature
a prison it is
of glass steel concrete.
Watching the news
makes it worse.
I've moved furniture
watched a million films.
Flicked screens
till the finger hurts.
Ran the treadmill.
It's just not the same.
All this free time
I didn’t realise
was a secret wish
I always had in mind.
Tired of running
I used to say
‘I wish I had time.’

Could it be
that a part of me
is prodding still
to go deep within?
Who am I?
Why do I run?
Why am I here?
Where am I going?
What is it that I run from?

I heard a rumour
strange as it sounds
says the myth is separation
one I am with all creation.
The air I breathe
the plants I eat
birds and animals
mountains and sea
and people too
are physical manifestation
of one supreme.

Between lives
before birth
I sign contracts
and promise to serve.
The best for all
the best for me
are no different
they pretend to be.

Late at night
when I go to sleep
I inhabit worlds
I won't believe.
More real than real
is such a dream.
Out of my body
I'm a soul
shooting through
a cave of light
I arrive
in another realm.
Dear oh dear
Why do I feel
I belong here.
In timeless time
I find
a vision grand
beyond sublime.
Words can't describe
the music I see
the colours I hear.
Fragrance I taste
does not compare
with anything which
I was familiar.

Oh how trivial
were my concerns
back on Earth.
A foolish life
in which I thought
I was born to run.
"A school it was
chosen by you
my dearest son.
A puzzle to find
your way back home
O magnificent one.
Of all the worlds
it’s a special one.
An elite school
the toughest test
the highest level
and you are all
every one
a fine student
an explorer race

you're best of the best.
There are others
your star brothers
they may seem
far advanced
but don’t compare
what you call
intelligence
with life experience.
Very few
have the courage to
forget their link
and undergo
what you go through.
They’re waiting here
a stadium full
of eager souls
to cheer for you
and catch a glimpse
of the one graduating
with a perfect score.
You are, for us
and have always been
a celebrity, a hero.
One who’s dearly loved."


Says a light
brighter than bright.
It’s all a surprise
filled with joy
I cannot believe!
I’m overwhelmed.
I’ve never felt such love
and never been so loved!
Isn’t that what I truly seek?
To love and to be loved.
In a misty mist
I’m enveloped.
In loving embrace.
I'm Her and Him
only One
beyond bliss.

As I emerge
a question unsaid
surges ahead.
Why do we
have such a test?
Back on Earth
why does man
suffer so much?
Why don’t we
remember this love?
“O dearest son
your purpose is joy

and it's your destiny
to discover your
creator status.
Eons ago
in your infancy
I lived with you
as a voice inside
that you could hear
loud and clear.
A golden era
divine age
you and your mother
worked in grace.
Then came a time
you chose for yourself
a difficult lesson.
It wasn’t a fall.
You didn’t sin.
Don’t carry on
with guilt within.

It was a choice
and you decided
to make it steep
the learning curve.
I had to leave
you were hurt
and were made to
change your beliefs.
I was around
but only as
a faint voice
you could barely hear
in commotion and din
of ego birthed within.
Dazzled by glitz
you put on your eyes
a blindfold.
From a sovereign being
you turned a slave.
Once a creator
you now knew
only control.
All because
your wanted to
learn a lesson
on how to live
how to love
and how to find
your way back home

on your own.
Suffering pain
birth after birth
for thousands of years
it was a plan
very grand.
It made you
who you are.
You’ve been
A king, a peasant
and everything in between.
A mother, an adolescent
dying in war and famine
a child with plague
a murderer in rage
the one murdered
as well as the judge.
At different times
warrior and a lover
an honest man
a cunning leader
every gender, religion
race and colour
you’ve seen it all.
You’ve lived on
every continent.
Each birth not random
but consciously chosen
with the intent
to catalogue the experience
and expand your soul.
You may not remember
every detail
but the learning itself
is coded within
your DNA.

Son, the thousand lives
were preparation for
this very time.
You’re now ready
for the second act.
After all this time
you finally understand
there’s no separation
life has an order
that war doesn’t work
nor does judging others
or being a victim
serve a higher purpose.

A creator you are
of your reality
marching on
to a new destiny.
A time of choice it is.
As individuals and collectives
you have three paths ahead:
path one is of mother nature
and oneness with all creation

path two is of victimhood
and yearning for peace 

by waging battles
path three is that of addiction
to substance and technology.
Choose well, dear son.


What lies ahead
is a benevolent age.

The first to enter it
will be those who've found
their way back home.”

Beyond the veil
back on Earth
I realize now
He is in everyone
and everything
in invisible ways.
He talks to all
in whispered voices
and life experiences.
All can hear
or decipher
the signs that are
everywhere.

When I was born
I was told
I was alone
and to watch out for
a hit and run.
A victim I was
afraid to be
a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Judging you all my life
it wasn't my fault
forgive me please.
This is the way
it was meant to be
for my own awakening.
In higher vibration
there’s no separation
Let’s create
a beautiful world
devoid of competition.

You may ask
is this really true
or a yarn of fantasy?
How does it work?
I’ve got questions
a million already.
It’s not conjecture
or scripture I seek
nor a treatise
or sci-fi story.
It’s clarity.

Then prepare to go
on a voyage of
discovery.
Outside not
but deep within.
If you choose so
there are those
who’ve gone before
you may take their company.
For over three decades
there are accounts
from hundreds of books
of voices beyond the veil
speaking through ordinary folks.
A seeker, an engineer, a scientist
a journalist, or a hermit
take your pick.
Based on these
I have a vision
to offer lessons
numbering seven.
You should know
that words don’t teach.
Wisdom is not
a mental game.
And never take
someone’s truth
as set in stone
until you
make it your own.
As you relate
what you learn
with the life you lead
you will have
the perfect tool
to evaluate your
new beliefs.
A Prism of Life.

Lesson first
is to open up
and learn to trust.
Lesson two
is to seek your mother
and offer her
a gift of love.
Lesson three
is a reprieve
from the life
of suffering.
Lesson four
is the journey home.
Lesson five
is your design.
Lesson six
is a lesson fine
for it reveals
a grand design.
Lesson seven
is your lineage
for you are a soul
older than old.
__________________

Manu Sharma
Eternity Family Farm,
Near Nangal Dam, Punjab

North India | 22/04/2020

Prism of Life is an online course on wisdom teachings that 
involves collating, categorising, pattern matching and comparing 
lessons from multiple 'beyond the veil' accounts. It has seven modules.
Watch for updates on this blog.

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